Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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