i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
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I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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