i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
