her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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