when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
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The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
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im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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