i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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