I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
