Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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