I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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