the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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