So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
