my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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