you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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