Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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