she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
