I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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