his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
