piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
