found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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