Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
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You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's no shave November. This is our time.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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