somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
