I just made out with a guy for $7.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
