her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
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Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
As shirtless as possible
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
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I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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