i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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