Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
