yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
