Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We left the knife in your bed.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
