Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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