haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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