my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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