it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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