I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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