i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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