Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
