If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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