I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
