I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
