No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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