doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
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Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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