Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
