i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He did a backflip because drugs
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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