do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
