i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
