Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You smell like a Billy Joel song
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
