I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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