honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
