You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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