Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize