I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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