Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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