happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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