with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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