your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
