please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
