My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
FUCK WHALES
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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