I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
